why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
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