You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
