There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
