do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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