Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
