We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
