porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
