Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
