I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She bit a glass in half.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
