I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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