that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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