Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
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