I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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