dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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