I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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