Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The beer is more important than you right now.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
