I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
