It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
