we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I got inside last night via doggy door
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
