I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Randomize
