forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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