I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
