apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
