4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
