wrigley field is MILF paradise
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
