woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You took a bar mat shot.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
