so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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