he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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