I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
