just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Shame - the story of my life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
