Your tits are I can't wait for
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Just puked most of my soul out..
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