Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
