I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
