S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
