i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
