When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
