so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
