I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Found the puke drawer
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize