How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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