just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
