this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
