how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
