Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
