areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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