non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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