stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
