Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
