We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
