Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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