I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
