i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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