I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize