the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
