Christians are straight up FREAKS
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
