he shaved USA in his pubs
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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