oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
