God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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