I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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