...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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