She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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