Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
